


tell the doctor what's become of me , so you can analyse (analyse my dreams )

by stevebuckyevans



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Death, F/M, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-06
Updated: 2015-06-06
Packaged: 2018-04-03 03:55:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4085716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stevebuckyevans/pseuds/stevebuckyevans
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>he can't pretend anymore </p><p> </p><p>(he's not brave , he never was)</p><p> </p><p> he's fucking terrified of the way it feels like he's freezing to death all over again despite being trapped in a room filled with fire</p>
            </blockquote>





	tell the doctor what's become of me , so you can analyse (analyse my dreams )

**Author's Note:**

> title from Smoke by Daughter 
> 
> i wrote this angsty piece of crap a long time ago and i found it again so i decided to post it forgive mE

> _we're dying in this smoke filled room ( it's rising , choking me )_

 

He looks around but he doesn't see 

 

He inhales but he doesn't breath

 

He hears the rest of them screaming in his ear to get out ( out , out , out) but they all know he can't.

 

He tries to think of red lips or red hair , of his mother's gentle but firm hands stroking his dirty , sweaty hair back while she's looking at him with concern filled eyes

, of Bucky and how sorry he is he never got to look him in the eye and see his best friend again ( not the hired assassin with blank eyes and a mission )

 

Instead , all he can think about is how hard his hands are trembling and how he can't pretend anymore

 

( _he's not brave , he never was_ )

 

he's fucking terrified of the way it feels like he's freezing to death all over again despite being trapped in a room filled with fire

 

He thinks back to nice Asgardian gods and a genius in a robot suit and the way he's never met anyone as afraid of themselves as Bruce ,

he thinks back to farms and a family and hopes Clint finally finishes rebuilding that goddamn guest room before Laura refuses to let him enter the house again ,

he thinks of red hair ,fierce green eyes and the way he wishes he believed in him and Natasha the same way everyone else did.

 

( _they're too damaged , she deserves someone who can love her enough for the both of them_.)  (  _he can't )_

 

he can't stand the smoke filling his lungs anymore or how his flesh is burning of his body 

 

(he sees what's left of his shield turn to a mess of white, red , blue and smiles because nothing's ever unbreakable) ( not even him)

 

the last thing he can think of before the serum that kept him fighting all these years gives up , is how ironic it is that the fire is killing him while the cold saved his life 

 

( _he wishes it never did )_

 

 


End file.
